I have always been the type person who wants to help others. I’be always hated when those I love or even strangers, were in pain or upset. I hate the fact that some people feel so upset or helpless that they feel that there is no way to feel better but to hurt themselves or kill themselves.
This may sound crazy, but sometimes I have dreams and those dreams come true. About five years ago, I had a dream that someone was playing volleyball in the front row on the right and got hit in the head with the ball and collapsed. The next day at practice I was in the same position and I got hit in the head. Needless to say, I collapsed.
There have been other instances when things like this have happened. That’s not the point though. The point is that last week I had a dream that my neighbor committed suicide. Then when I woke up this morning, my mother told me that my cousin had tried to kill herself the night before.
Although my neighbor is okay at the moment, my cousin isn’t. That is why I am writing this article. I have written things on other platforms about selfharm and suicide, along with depression, PTSD , and other things. Right now I am going to write on suicide.
I understand the feeling that things won’t get better. I have been there. Although I never tried to kill myself, I thought about it quite a bit. I couldn’t do that to my family. The only thing that truly kept me from attempting suicide is the fact that I didn’t want to leave my parents and siblings alone.
My point is that I know how it feels to want to die, regardless of whether or not I tried to take that final step. I have friends who want to die and I am constantly trying to make them happy. I am always trying to help them because they are my friends and my friends are my family. It doesn’t matter whether we are related by blood or not, if I care about someone or see that someone is upset I am going to do everything in my power to make them want to stay.
I have stayed up all night talking to people online to try to convey to them that things will get better. People always say that people on the internet who say they are going to kill themselves only want attention, and while that may be the case I don’t want to take the chance that they are really only trying to be given a reason to live because deep down they truly don’t want to die. On all my social media I have in the description that I am here for anyone who needs to talk.
I don’t want for people to feel alone. Not if I can help it. I feel terrible that I wasn’t able to help my cousin, that I didn’t get to her. All that I can truly do is hope that she will get the help that she needs. I don’t want anyone to feel like that… I want to help. So if any of you ever need someone I am here. A lot of people say that but then when you need them they aren’t there. But I am. I have all of my notifications on. I have my social media linked on my home page so I am here. You can dm me or message me and I will reply.
If there is anything that I can do to help I will try. I will leave the information with different hotlines and such if any of you would rather speak to someone who deals with these situations professionally.
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (24 hour service) : 1-800-273-8255
Trevor Project (24/7 hotline for LGBT Youth) : 1-866-488-7386