Mood Drop

For years I have been training myself not to get my hopes up. I never let myself get excited for things before they are happening because every time that I get excited beforehand something happens and the thing doesn’t work out.

Take a few years ago for example, I was visiting family in New York and we went to do our laundry. At the laundry place, the guy who ran it used to be a clown. He gave me a little balloon animal kit and I couldn’t wait to use it.

I was so excited to give balloons to different people and when we finally got home and I was ready to do it, it didn’t work. Every. Single. Balloon was broken.  I felt so let down.

Since that day I have tried my best not to get excited for things. Every once in a while I let that slip though, and it almost always back-fires on me.

When I was eight or nine my family and I were going to an Easter egg hunt on the Air Force Base. As we got to the base, the hunt had started early and there were no eggs left. My parents drove all the way back to town and we went to the zoo to try a different one. I left with four empty eggs. It was a real let down.

Just last year, I saved up all my Christmas and Birthday money to go to a Shawn Mendes concert. I had even stayed up all night to wait for the tickets to go on sale. Just as they were about to drop, my internet went out. By the time that I back to the website, the only tickets that were left were over a hundred dollars.

This past Halloween I was really excited to dress up my puppy and bring him with my family and I, the day before he got hit by  a car. He didn’t die but he had a bad limp and wasn’t feeling well.

Now that you understand what I mean, I will go to what happened today. I did my schoolwork and cleaned my room and my neighbor had invited me to get pulled on a tube while he drove his four-wheeler. I had told him that I might come out. After this I went and got ready. Just as I was going outside to go do the four-wheeler thing, he was putting it away.

I don’t mind that he didn’t think I was coming out, what I mind is that I let myself get my hopes up. I’m more upset with myself than anything. I shouldn’t have gotten excited about it. Maybe this makes me seem like a spoiled brat, but I’m upset and I wanted to vent. So there it is. There is the cause of my mood drop.

I’ll write again soon. Bye.

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